A story created and illustrated by the Fifth Graders in Room 503.
Early one morning, Ralph was on his way to work in the city. He was tired, so he decided to stop by McDonalds for a cup of coffee. He pulled in the parking lot and was heading inside when a tall, skinny man with lots of hair, a bushy beard and thick rimmed glasses carrying a poodle brushed by him quickly.
The man seemed in a hurry. Ralph went up to the counter and ordered his coffee. He took a number and sat down, waiting. He picked up a nearby newspaper and read the headline: WARNING – NUCLEAR LEAK LEADS TO FINDING OF DEAD DUCK WITH FOUR EYES.
“Egad!” gasped Ralph. “A four eyed duck! What’s the world coming to?” He lowered the paper and noticed a drink was sitting on the table next to him. He thought it was coffee, but…it was green. “It’s my lucky day!” laughed Ralph. “They mixed up my order and brought me a Shamrock Shake!”
He drank it down and burped. Just then, a McDonalds clerk brought him his coffee. “Oh snap!” cried Ralph. “What did I just drink?” He smiled. “I don’t care what it was. It sure was tasty…” “Hey!” called out a voice behind Ralph. It was the tall skinny guy with the nasty beard and thick rimmed glasses carrying a poodle. “Where’s the cup of green goo that was on this table?” “Oh, the Shamrock Shake?” laughed Ralph. “Dude, I drank it! I didn’t know it was yours. I’ll buy you another one if you want me to.” The tall skinny man with the thick rimmed glasses and the nasty beard carrying the poodle ripped out some of his hair. “You fool!” he screamed.
“You just drank a cup of nuclear waste!” The skinny man sat down. He took a deep breath and took off his glasses. “My name is Karl. I’m single and lonely. I worked at the nuclear plant, until I quit this morning. I stole some of the radioactive goo from the plant. I was going to feed it to Fernando, my precious poodle, because it is designed to change anyone, or anything, made of mere flesh into a superhumanninjalike warrior. I needed Fernando to become strong so he could take care of the bad people who bully me every day. They’re fifth graders at the local school…and they’re mean. Now that you’ve drank the goo, it is gone forever.” “Wait!” shouted Ralph. “Are you saying I’m going to turn into a superhumanninjalike warrior? That’s cool!” “It’s only cool if you’re going to protect me,” said Karl. “Please save me from the 5th graders!” “No way!” laughed Ralph. “I don’t have time for you! I’m going to be a super hero! I’m going to be famous! I’m going to be rich! I’m going to win the American ninja warrior competition!” Suddenly, Ralph grew an extra finger! “It has started,” said Karl, shaking his head sadly. “There is no going back now.” Ralph, full of excitement and selfish pride, dashed out into the street…where he was run over by a bus.
Pieces flew everywhere. “Sad,” said Karl, “the power went to his head.” The lonely scientist carrying the poodle named Fernando walked away into the mist. In the street, however, pieces of Ralph were being scattered all over the street. Some of the pieces fell into the sewer, where four turtles started to eat them.
And a rat. The rest is history.